Going through a divorce is not a pleasant experience and you will often find that you hate your ex. But when you hate your ex you only cause yourself more pain. This article will dive into why you hate your ex what to do when you hate your ex and how not to hate your ex your ex
You’ve just gone through the biggest crisis of your life – divorce. It’s costly and horrific and tragic and you think it’s never going to end. In fact it may not be finished yet. There are many reasons why you can hate your ex forever. Here are some of the most popular.
10 reasons you hate your ex and why you really shouldn’t
1. Your ex betrayed you.
Maybe it was an affair maybe it was the decision to leave you. Maybe your ex got you down in another way.
In any case you feel abandoned possibly replaced which may be unforgivable. In fact you want your ex to suffer as much (or more) as you do.
2. You are emotionally disturbed (it’s your ex’s fault).
You are easily triggered to Righteous anger even though you know it’s better for the kids if you can put your feelings aside you can’t seem to control those emotions. After all righteous anger is better than frustration.
You can’t stop yourself from telling almost everyone you meet how your ex screwed up your life and your kids. You think they should know all this.
3. You think that divorce is morally bad for your children and totally wrong.
You made those wedding vows and now you wonder if they meant anything.
Don’t hate your ex
4. You can’t believe you have to add “Divorce” to your resume.
You are embarrassed and feel like a failure. You feel unlovable and unworthy of being loved.You hate asking for help or support so you suffer alone or repeatedly vent your grievances to your family and friends.
5. Your ex has left but you’re stuck.
You think you may never move on. You can’t stop thinking about divorce. It has become an obsession that cannot be let go.
It interferes with your work you can’t sleep and you watch a lot of TV while eating junk food. All you think is negative and you barely remember any good from your ex.
6. You feel that all the losses are irreparable.
You have lost someone you once loved and he should always love you.You also lose money possessions and time with your children. You can’t imagine that you will overcome these losses.
7. You Still loving your ex or believing that you are meant to be together.
You still think your ex will come back to his senses and come back to you but after all this you never want your ex back.
In fact you wish you would never have to see your ex again unfortunately you have to see his or her children but you try to minimize contact. When you meet you try to avoid saying hello and sit as far away as possible at the kids’ soccer game.
8. It is too bad, but the Children should know what is what.
They should be aligned with you and know that your ex is to blame for the destruction of the family.
Sure you know experts say your kids “should” love both parents but you also think they should know the “truth” of what’s really going on. Also you think it’s wrong to lie or keep “secrets” to your kids.
9. You can’t imagine a better future for you and you want all your friends and family to know how badly you’ve been wronged.
You can’t let go of feeling like a victim because the anger makes you feel like you’ve retained some sense of power.
It feels good to stay angry. Also if you do let go you will have to look at yourself and your role in the breakup.
10. In the end your ex still treats you badly.
Your ex criticized your parenting for being judgmental and opinionated. Your ex makes demands on you keeps emailing you expects an immediate response never shows up on time interferes with your plans and keeps trying to change your schedule.
Your ex is rude on the phone when you have to swap kids. You can’t just sit there and accept it.
If any of these reasons sound familiar to you you now know why getting along with your ex is so difficult. However staying crazy and hating your ex forever comes at a huge cost. Is it worth the price? The decision is in your hands.