5 Signs Of A Manipulative Apology

When an apology is heartfelt and sincere an apology can be very powerful and strengthen a relationship. However saying “sorry” requires you to admit your mistakes and become vulnerable and self-blaming. No wonder so many people use manipulative apologies to get out of trouble or embarrassing situations.

That’s why you need to recognize the signs of a manipulative apology and protect your emotions from exploitation.

Has anyone apologized to you and you knew right away it wasn’t sincere? An emotional apology is when a person says “I’m sorry” only to defuse the situation not because they are sorry for their actions or actions.

This is when a person uses an apology to manipulate your emotions instead of expressing regret.They know exactly what you want to hear and they use apologies to control how you think and feel about them.

They will twist their words with insincere apologies to manipulate you. Essentially the meaning of a manipulative apology can be speculated as a lack of sincere responsibility for regret and actual change in future behavior.

According to the researchers manipulative apologies also known as insincere apologies or instrumental apologies are usually made for an objective or purpose such as evading punishment or avoiding social exclusion.

“Instrumental apology serves a purpose. It does not involve admitting guilt or taking responsibility. Furthermore apology is one of the interpersonal emotion regulation that reduces the negative emotions of others,” the researchers explained.

Manipulators and fake apologies

Genuine apologies can promote forgivenessBut false apologies without any apparent effort to correct disruptive behavior are meant to control you.Abusive narcissistic and controlling people often offer conditional apologies.

“I’m sorry you were offended but…”

Their apology always ends by shifting the blame to you. Depending on their version of the story they may be overreacting or misbehaving but only because you did something that triggered them. This is one of the classic signs of a manipulative apology.

Their main focus is to provide an explanation to clear their name and blame you for everything.Furthermore they have no intention of changing or correcting their bad behavior.

The manipulator may give you a fake apology just to calm you down. They might say-

“Okay! Sorry! That’s what you wanted to hear? I apologize. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting? Well I’m sorry. Now let’s get over that.”

“Of course it’s always my fault. I apologize. Are you happy now? Can we stop arguing?

“Okay I’m sorry. Okay? But you’re the one who started it.”

A manipulative apology is just one of many tactics that toxic people and narcissists use to make you feel bad and control your emotions. Not only will they cheer you on but they won’t hesitate to manipulate you to get what they want. even if it means they have to They will apologize to you.

That’s why you need to be aware of the signs of a manipulative apology in order to discern a real apology from a false apology.

Signs of a manipulative apology

So how do you spot an emotionally manipulated apology? Here are some of the manipulative apology signs you should be aware of in order to identify a manipulator’s fake apology –

1. They apologize with a condition

“I’m sorry I yelled at you but you’re getting more and more annoying.”

“Yes I’m sorry for what happened but I didn’t think it through.”

“I’m really sorry it turned out like this but sometimes you can be overly sensitive.”

A real apology doesn’t have a “but” or anything elseconditions.Only a manipulative apology is colored like this.When we apologize to someone we love and care about we don’t focus on what caused the situation we just focus on making the other person feel better.

But the manipulator will only apologize under certain conditions such as the topic being over forever. A conditional apology is just an excuse.

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